April 28, 2009
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Remembering what having friends is
We all have those friends we see every day. They go to class with us, work with us. They eat meals with us and hang out when there is spare time. They buy groceries with you and want to see the same movies. They are the ones who deal with all of your complaining and forgive you for your misgivings. It's an endless cycle of giving and taking, and yet, I have found that my list of friends has come short. I remember spending time all summer with everyone: going to parties, making food, playing video games, sleepovers, etc. I remember the first week back to school when we all partied and had homework parties. I remember the plays and the gossip. I remember meeting someone very special to me. I remember spending less time with everyone. I remember everyone not calling me to do things anymore.
I especially remember all of the awkward moments people created to make one person or another feel awkward for one reason or the other. I remember all of the truly hurtful things everyone said to everyone else. I remember the alliances. I remember the talks and the pizza. I remember the tears and the smiles. I remember it all.
I just can't remember when we decided to all stop being friends. We've all grown apart very quickly. It has surprised me very much. I loved spending time with everyone, but I just feel that now I'm not at liberty to do so. There are people I can't be around and people I can't wait to see again. I just wanted everything to be different. Going into my senior year in college, I have found that many of the close friends I made in the beginning are no longer my friends anymore. I realize that I'm in a different place now than I was in before. I'm in a new relationship (that makes me tremendously happy). I have made new friends. I have managed to get my life back in order. I party a lot less.
I'm not sure if the changes in my life are totally for the good or not. I just know that I have the summer and next semester to try and do some repairing or complete the tearing.
It's beena very hard year for me. I've struggled with many obstacles presented to me. My next biggest obstacle is two months in Rennes, France with only one real friend nearby. Wish me luck!
Comments (3)
It's sad when this happens, and it happens to everyone. You move away, you start doing new things, you get into new relationships and people who were super close aren't super close (or you never talk to them, unless it's a quick facebook chat, if that). And I'm sorry it happens, and I'm pretty sure we've grown so far apart by now that, yeah, we're basically "hey, what's up" friends. But, you know, you've gotten to a good place in your life, and that's fantastic, and I'm going off to a good place, and that'll work. So, good luck in France and with all of your other projects in life and just be happy. (Man, it's like I'm trying to say I'll never see you again. Huh. Who'd a thunk.)
good luck
Good luck. I'm realizing this now that I'm moving to California, and all of my friends are starting college. Things get crazy. In the end, hopefully it's worth it. There are a lot of people in my life that I wanted to stay in my life, but are gone now, and I'm gratful for that. I mean, when you're 15 and people tell you they love you and blah blah, you're gonna believe it. But yeah, sometimes, things fall apart so that things can fall into place.
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