I haven't updated in a very long while. However, I thought now would be as good a time as many to relay my wedding experience to the world.

June 16, 2011... Our wedding day. It was gorgeous out with only spots of high wind here and there, which is normal for Colorado Springs. Jake and I were thrilled because the sun was always shining pretty brightly for the photos before and after the ceremony. We were so thrilled to have everyone there, some we didn't even expect to come!

To be honest, I don't remember much. I remember feeling a little embarrassed and nervous walking down the aisle with my dad. I just didn't want all the attention on me when the whole day was about Jake and I. It was wonderful though. My dad was so choked up when he gave me over to Jake. Luckily, Jake and I were on the same page for the whole ceremony, even jumping ahead to step up to another level of the front of the church instead of waiting when we were to go light the Christ Candle...

I recall afterwards and feeling like we just did it... like it was all a blur... like the whole thing just happened and I couldn't remember all of the details. This, I have heard from friends, is absolutely normal. You don't much remember most things, but you do remember some of the more important and meaningful parts of the day.

For example, I had worn the shoes that came with my hanbok for the pre-ceremony photos, but I decided they were going to kill my feet. I didn't wear them for the rest of the day, including during the ceremony. I just strutted down the aisle with my booties on that go in the shoes. Everyone probably thought I just had white shoes on. I also remember the hugs I received from various family members welcoming me into the family.

One of my most cherished gifts from the wedding are a set of towels hand-embroidered by Jake's grandmother that we received from his aunt, Stephany. That is something so special and rare these days. I know that my mother received similar towers and embroidered things from my dad's mother, too.

I also remember taking the group family photos and including Sue, my mom's friend, and Carlos, my sister's closest friend. Carlos actually thanked us for including him. For me, however, it was a no-brainer because he is always there and has the greatest love for our family, as well.

There are not many things I remember from my wedding, but I will remember these things the most.

It's great to be a Mr. & Mrs. Snuggles finally. 

It has been a LONG time since I posted an update about how my skin was doing after using Perfect Skin. Several months later, I am happy to announce that I am still using Perfect Skin (and my skin feels great)! My face used to be riddled with tiny bumps, and I constantly woke up with a glassy sheet of oil all over my face. No more! I have been a lot less oily and I have fewer breakouts than I used to have. The tiny bumps on my face have diminished in size. The only place I get them now is on my forehead instead of all over my chin and cheeks. My skin looks healthier and smoother and feels a lot smoother, too. If you haven't tried this yet, it's time!

One day a week ago, I was bored out of my mind, so I started flipping channels. There was nothing to watch. I eventually settled into the afternoon infomercials on some channel we don't need in our satellite package. I was watching when the product switched to Perfect Skin, a skin treatment system endorsed by the Kardashians. I will admit that I love watching their shows, but I had never tried anything they endorsed. After watching one full cycle of the infomercial, I had to check it out online.

To go back a few years to puberty, I have always had acne, sometimes really bad and other times not very noticeable. I have never been able to get rid of it and have a completely clear face, though. I have tried everything except for prescription treatments (mostly because my mom doesn't believe in dermatologists or something). So in my third year of college, I ordered SkinID. I received the package in the mail right before work (this was in the summer). I decided to try it right away. I felt so clean and good that I went to work thinking nothing of it. Eventually my boss strolls over and asks how I'm doing. I say I'm fine. However, she keeps pushing me to look at my face in the mirror. When I do, I'm shocked to see my face completely red and swollen. She takes over for me, and I head to the hospital emergency room because it's around midnight. With the doctor's help, I find out I'm allergic to benzoyl peroxide. The reason I didn't know this before was because the products I normally used only had salycic acid in them. After that fiasco, I looked into Proactiv, but the kit had the same dosage of benzoyl peroxide as SkinID. I didn't want to have that experience again, so I just quit looking...

Jumping to the present, I still have the acne I did before. My forehead is plagued by tiny bumps that never go away, my nose is always oily, and I get large, juicy pimples on my chin and neck daily. When one disappears, another one sprouts in it's vicinity. This even from washing twice a day and using spot treatments. So on the day I discovered Perfect Skin, I went online to check out the drug facts and do some research. It turns out that this product does not use benzoyl peroxide or salycic acid like most others do. After going back and forth, I decided to order a month's worth and check it out.

This morning was my first cleansing with the 3-step routine, and I feel great. I'm going to be monitoring my progress over the next month to see if I'm allergic and if it actually works. I'm hoping I've finally found a treatment that will work with my skin.

The first person I met on my own in my apartment community was a neighbor who lives with her mother and son upstairs. She was asking me if I was going to be home or not because a man from X-cel Energy was coming to pick up a check for her electric bill. She offered to leave me her Driver's license to hold with the check for collateral. Unfortunately, I was headed with Jake to Colorado Springs to visit my family. I had actually been back and forth to several groceries stores to find a birthday cake for my sister with all of the cute extras (i.e. Hello Kitty sugar candies and candles). I said I couldn't and that was the end of it. She left to go figure it out on her own. Jake gets home and starts packing his things. We are standing in the kitchen talking about our day and work and getting ready to head out the door. I was just telling Jake about the woman who approached me when we hear a knock on the door. It's her! She asks if one of us can take her to the bank to cash her check. Jake takes her as I get the last of the stuff ready. When Jake gets back, he says they tried her bank and several check cashing places, all of which wouldn't cask a third party check from her mother. In the end, Jake just gave her $40 to cover everything and said she could pay him back when she had the money in a week. Unfortunately, the next week rolled around and no money. The week after that, Jake and I were sitting down for lunch when we heard a knock at the door. It's our neighbor again asking for a ride to the bank. I decide to take her this time so that Jake can finish his lunch and get ready for work. We get there, she goes into the bank, and I wait in my car. She comes out empty handed, so we drive home. This has since happened twice. The exception is the very last time, today, where I took her to Safeway to cash a check from her ex for child support. The check doesn't work or something. To top it off, she walks out of the Safeway with a bottle of soda, telling me she would have gotten me one if she had known what I liked. So, I once again had taken her to a bank in my car using my gas just to give her the benefit of the doubt. The saddest part of this story is that I have seen her frequently walking around our neighborhood by herself, on her cellphone, during the day. I have also seen her trolling our parking lot for people who are about to go somewhere, asking them for a ride. I knew I was being played the second time she asked for a ride.

She makes it difficult for me to believe that people who ask for help are being genuine. I think that everyone struggles at one time or another with this question, with whether or not the trust they put in other people is warranted or not. I have decided that the next time she comes to the door I will ask her where she needs to go and go into the bank or store with her. Then, I can stand next to her and get the $40 she owes us once and for all. I have also decided that getting that $40 isn't really that important. At this point, I'd rather not be used by her for a ride somewhere, especially if her excuse is cashing a check for money she owes me to begin with. Jake works very hard for his paycheck every week. I still have not been able to find a job since moving here. I want to help someone in need, but beggars should not be choosers.

Have you ever had someone who constantly mooched off of you? What did you do?

For some reason, I have been going through a weird phase in my life. Despite keeping diligent about searching for work, trying hard to keep strong with my online courses, and keeping the apartment clean and tidy, I'm thinking too much about things I let go. It has been nearly two years since the biggest break up of my life. As Geneva can attest to, I was a complete wreck. I don't think I had ever let myself cry so hard in front of anyone before that moment. Geneva was with me immediately and stayed until I felt better. I will never forget that.

Lately, I've been having dreams. They aren't typical dreams for me. Usually, I'm living out my own life with no problems. I may be chased by someone in one of several nightmares I have had since I was a child. In other dreams, I'm conquering the world or playing with my children. I'm not sure exactly what my current dreams mean, if they have a meaning. Perhaps I'm meant to have a conversation that has been put off for many reasons over the past year. It's just strange.

A week ago, I was in Colorado Springs celebrating my younger sister's 21st birthday. We had a barbecue with family and friends at the house where my father gave shots of his Crown Royal Cask No. 19 to 20-somethings. We opened gifts and had cake. After the party, a childhood friend of ours, Jennifer, Cyndi, Norbert, Jake, and I went downtown to barhop and have a good time. Being September 11, we weren't expecting Cyndi to get a lot of free drinks because the event as a whole overshadows something even as meaningful as a birthday. For the night, Cyndi actually did pretty well. The important part of that night for me concerning my dreams lately has to do with the second bar we visited that night: the Ritz Grill. While waiting at the bar for Cyndi and Jennifer to get drinks, I turned my head to look into the crowd of people. Among the faces of firefighters and ordinary people, I see the least expected face: Collin.

My sister and Jennifer tried to get a drink out of him of all things! I just wanted to stay cool and not worry about that meeting until it was absolutely necessary. He disappeared, and my friends didn't find him. When we exited the bar, everyone walked onto the curb and right past him. As I passed him, I saw him look up. I know he saw me. As we stood on the curb, I didn't say anything to my group. I stole little glances at him, hoping he wouldn't look up at the same time. Twice, perhaps, I saw his eyes looking past the person he was talking to towards me. I think he didn't recognize me. I've gained a little weight and dress differently now. We left the bar and headed to Cowboys. Eventually, I told them he was standing right behind them on the curb.

Since that night, I can remember nights where he was present in my dream. The most vivid and puzzling one was last night. I have amended the dream and only included the part that interested me the most.

We were at the Ritz Grill during the day. The layout of the restaurant was a lot different from what I remember. In the dream, I'm standing at the bar ordering a Long Island. For some reason, this drink that had been made for me disappeared (literally) in front of my eyes and was replaced by two double shots in little plastic cups as I reached for my now non-existent glass. The girl next to me, I believe, is Dawn, a girl I went to college with. She grabs the shots territorially but offers me one once she sees who I am and that she knows me. She brings me to sit down at a booth with two exits right next to the bar. My sister (Cyndi), Dawn, and a guy I knew from high school were all sitting in the booth. I continued to stand for some time next to it. I had a folder of papers, and I was filling out paperwork. The papers reminded me of the wedding photographer contracts Jake and I have been reading through lately. Someone bumps me from behind and keeps walking. It's Collin. He's dressed in a black suit with wide pinstripes and has a silver tie or silver pocket square. Eventually, we greet each other and he joins the group but doesn't really participate in anything that is going on. At this point in the dream, I'm constantly thinking. It's as if I was outside of myself, only watching my body carry out tasks while the focus was on my thoughts as they were occurring. At one point, I'm sitting in the booth and shut my folder. I think to myself, "What the heck are you doing? You could be talking to him right now instead of constantly filling out paperwork." As I shut the folder, Collin walks up next to the guy I knew from high school sitting next to me and says, "You know, this is an awfully big booth. Want to make some room?" So my friend obliges and we're sitting next to each other and not saying anything. I'm then eating fries with ketchup, staring into the basket of food and not saying a word to anyone. After small chats with my sister across from me, I feel Collin's arm behind me and his body turns to face me in the booth. I turn myself similarly and look at him. He just stares at me and quietly says. "We need to talk about this before someone hears." 

At this point, I woke up to my incredibly noisy neighbors upstairs (doors slamming, stomping, dropping things, shifting things, loud music, loud talking, etc.). I waited a while as I woke up to tell Jake about the dream. Who wants to hear that their significant other had a dream about their ex in the middle of the night instead of them? I told him I had no idea why I kept having dreams like this. He simply said, "Maybe you need to talk to him."

He's got a point. I suppose I've never really felt closure, but I'm not sure closure is what is best. There is no way I would ever turn my back on Jake. I have never been this happy in my entire life. Everything is where it needs to be right now. Maybe I'm finally ready to say something, to have this conversation, to sit down and really find out why.

I suppose only time will tell.

10:30AM. It's Sunday. On most Sundays, I leisurely sleep in (mostly from a lack of being able to find a job in the whole of Denver). 

This is me (pictured above).

This morning, however, I am rudely awoken by nothing less than a suburban discotheque next door. After calling the security for the complex, I am alerted that they are only called for disturbances after hours. I am a little perplexed as to who I should call at this point because it's a Sunday morning, and there is no one in the rental office to call. The security suggests calling the local police who are usually pretty good to come by and quiet any disturbances. I decided to time the noise disturbance, and I'll be sending a note to my rental office very soon.

Why does anyone need to wake up to Eminem on a Sunday morning? It wasn't just part of the song or just the bass line, I could hear every detail of the music from my room with my ear in a pillow. After half an album of music, it gets a little old. I could still hear every detail after turning up the music on my computer as high as I could get it!

Have you ever had noise problems with your neighbors? How early is too early? How late is too late? When do you decide to call someone about the noise?

I had the pleasure of attending two Cobber weddings over the past two weeks: Rob & Stacy Jenson and Matt & Hannah Fleming. It surprised me that so many Cobbers were in attendance at these weddings. It shows the deep bond formed from the very first day of Orientation in our beanies, bonds that last forever (even past our 10 second jaunt across the stage to receive our diplomas). There really is something different about college friends versus high school friends. There is something that connects us together deeper than relationships we formed in high school. Perhaps it is the similar drive we have, pursuing the same interests and activities. Perhaps it lies within all of the hours spent together in the residence halls, in class, or at rehearsals. In my case, I think the strongest link between all of us is the choice we all made to attend Concordia College. We may not have all come together, but we left together.

I miss and cherish all of you. I had a wonderful time at these two weddings and hope to see many of you again soon at my own. God bless!

In my webcomic frenzy of the past three days, I have come across a lot of panels that I think are hilarious. Others, I think... have gotten me to thinking about how green I have become over the past year as a result of my experiences in Rennes, France. Here is one of them:

Now, I know it's meant to be a funny set of panels, but I have thought a lot about composting at my house (parents' house). With all the gardening they do, composting would be very beneficial. Even if they didn't use the composted material themselves, I'm sure there are many landscaping places that rely on compost for their commercial projects.

Composting, for those that don't know, is the collection and decomposition of plant and animal materials for use in gardening and landscaping. Compost provides valuable nutrients and vitamins taken from your table, garden, or lawn. When you use the compost, you're putting those essential parts of plant growth back into your lawn or garden. It's an incredibly environmental way to fertilize your plants. While throwing away your dead plants, lawn clippings, and animal waste into the trash and sending them to a dump or landfill will lead to their eventual decomposition and composting, it's a lot cheaper to keep it in a compost bin in your backyard and use it again later (i.e. trash/waste pick-up, having to drive to lawn/garden store, buying fertilizer). You can buy a compost bin at almost any lawn/garden store in your community. Give it a try with a small trash can in your backyard for a year. It's helping the environment (and helping your budget). If you need tips on composting or want to learn more, visit The Garden of Oz.

So, my question is: do you compost/know someone who does? Would you start if someone you knew could use it?

Jake and I have been frantically working on getting approved for our apartment (sans fireplace). We've spent two days now signing paperwork, checking e-mails, writing checks, faxing things back and forth, and asking any last minute questions. We will know by next Monday about our new apartment (and if we have a place to live). 

We are both really excited. The only thing we can do now, besides wait, is pick a color for the accent wall... We are stuck between blue (Jake's favorite color) and green or red (my color picks). We will have to search online for something we both like and get it done. Yay!

Wedding plans are kind of at a stand still, aside from the fact that I think we've found our wedding photographers/videographers! We are looking into Yellow Paddle Photography based in Denver. They are a group of students and a professional photographer who have great deals and good packages. We are going to schedule a meeting with them to see more of their work when Jake visits in two weeks and have an engagement session later in August to "test drive" a photographer. Should be fun!

Jake is working on a transfer to an O'Reilly/Checker Auto Parts store near our apartment complex in Thornton, CO. I have been steadily applying for jobs in everything from retail to sales to hospitality. We'll see what happens as we get closer to August.

I hope everyone is enjoying the wonderful sun we've been getting in Colorado. Hopefully we'll be sending it all around to share! 

Having only had one previous experience searching for an apartment, I grossly underestimated how hard it can be when one doesn't have a job. I also realized how difficult it can be to look at and find apartments when the other person (Jake) who is going to live there is about 100 miles away and can't go with me. Luckily, I have conquered all and found an apartment complex that we have agreed upon to rent from. On top of that, I think everything that has been causing this haze in my life has been clearing up rather nicely.

Next on my list of things to do: Find a job.

This, obviously, is more easily said than done. I can't put that I can work immediately because I can't. Well, I guess I could... Gas from Colorado Springs to North Denver every day is a bit ridiculous, I think. We'll see if anything becomes available. I just need an income to land the apartment... That of I'm going to need a co-signer (any takers?).

Wedding planning has been going great. Jake and I have decided on Yellow Paddle Photography, based in Denver. It's a group of several student photographers and a professional photographer who offer great deals and options at a great price. I am really excited to take some engagement photos for everyone to see! They even offer videography at a low price, too! Having that semi-settled has been a load off my mind, as well... Hello, $5000 budget wedding... I will kill you (in a manner of speaking).