July 22, 2005

  • Time alone = Time to think. I scare myself, sometimes. I just think too openly about things to myself. I ponder the interesting quandaries within myself. I think about the little things that may hurt me, the little things that may lift my spirits. I look too closely at what need not be touched. I don't know. Anyway, in my little journies, I realized something: I'm far, far away from where I want to be spiritually. I was there once; I jsut took a brief backtrack for no reason. I don't agree with some of the things I have been doing lately or thinking lately. I just need a breather. I've learned so much in a short time. I've been by myself so long that it hurts almost. It just seems that being away from the people that I truly believe are my support system, and my oxygen, is affecting me adversely. I don't know. Life can be so interesting and beautiful while still retaining that sting of bitterness and disinterest.


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    Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the LAN party tonight! I've never been to one before. I adore video games, too. This is going to be so much fun. I get to chill with my friends and play video games and be online, all at once! Dad said that I could go over there until around 10 PM. That's awesome. No fighting or anything about it! I love that, too. I'm not sure if Cyndi can go, but I figure that I'll ask and see if she can. That'll be fun.