There are quite a few songs on my summer playlist. I will categorize by whole albums (and a few individual songs).

• The Swell Season -- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
• Once (Original Soundtrack) -- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
• I Kissed A Girl -- Katy Perry
• Foundations -- Kate Nash
• The Drowsy Chaperone -- Original Broadway Cast Recording
• Dickhead -- Kate Nash
• Damaged -- Danity Kane
• Bleeding Love -- Leona Lewis
• Sad Story -- Plain White T's
• Emergency (live version) -- Paramore
• Chemistry -- The Adored
• Juno (Original Soundtrack)
• True Affection -- The Blow
• Sexy Mistake -- The Chalets
• Necessary Evil -- The Dresden Dolls
• Nine In The Afternoon -- Panic! At The Disco
• Breakin' Dishes -- Rihanna
• Easy On The Eyes -- The Shys
• Everything Went Numb -- Streetlight Manifesto
• Paris -- Yael Naim
• Levater -- Yael Naim

And so on and so forth... There are so many songs I've been loving this summer. Some out of pure pleasure and others out of sheer hilarity. What's on your playlist?

   

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This is a fantastic question with a very simple answer: Do anything that you can! A great way to start going green is to recycle. Most cities have a recycling program. In mine, we can purchase one or several recycling bins for $5 each. On a day that correlates with our trash pick-up, we set out our bins. It's really simple and easy to recycle your trash. You might be thinking that you'd forget to look at half the things you end up throwing away. If you can force yourself to look at the recycling labels on the products you use for at least three days, you'll be recycling without even thinking about it. I promise.

The second best thing you can do is cut down on your use of plastic bags. Ask for paper bags when you can, and recycle the bags by taking them back to the grocery store and using them again. You can also purchase a reuseable grocery bag from almost anywhere now. Most of the larger bags don't cost more than $0.98. It's an inexpensive way to do a little bit to cut down on excess waste. Wal-Mart and Target are big into the new reuseable bags (aside from grocery stores). Target even has several styles that range in very large to very small. They even have a medium sized bag that can be folded and zipped up to fit into your purse or pocket. You just have to carry it in with you and ask them to place your items in that bag when you check out. If you absolutely cannot get anything other than a plastic bag, save the bag and use it to take your lunch to work or school. You can even use them in your smaller trash cans in your office area or bathroom. The key to going green is to conserve and be creative with the materials we have so that we don't waste something that could have several other uses.

A third and more intense way to go green is to visit sites like http://www.green.org/, http://www.treehugger.com/gogreen.php, or http://www.thegreenguide.com/. These sites list green products that are safe and friendly for the environment as well as how to tell if a product is green or not (whether it lists it on the label or not). Another route would be to take the time to look up homemade cleaning supply recipes for those pesky stains and bathroom grime.

Like I said before: ANYTHING HELPS! If we all do at least one thing to help save our environment, we'll be better off in the long run. It's as simple as picking up a piece of trash in your neighbor's lawn, carpooling, and putting your coke can in the recycling bin. If you need any advice or tips, feel free to visit the sites above or contact me. I'd be happy to help!
   

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I'm still waiting for an opportunity to come my way. Anything, really. I just want to move on, but it's the hardest thing I've ever attempted to do. Then again, it's one of the hardest things in my life to get over. That one moment has been re-lived in my mind and in my dreams so many times that it all feels the same anymore. I've been flirting and hinting and still nothing. It's okay, though. You can't have everything you want, right? I suppose most of the things we want for ourselves aren't necessary to our happiness or our health. It's just nice to be able to get what we want once in a while, especially when it's bad for us. I think that, at least.

There is no harm done in a little careless fun every so often. I'm waiting for my "so often" to come around again. It seems like it has been such a long time ago. I'm actually looking forward to classes starting again so I can take a break from working every single day. I have down time, but going every single day is hard to do. I have a lot of respect for people who need to keep two or three jobs to support themselves and their families. It's a hard gig, and I'm just barely getting by as it is. Life's hard sometimes. True that.

As far as my academic life is concerned, my scholarships have been suspended for a semester. I have to raise my GPA to the necessary average by the end of the semester or I'll lose them completely. Because of this, I've decided that I'm not going to do the music major anymore. I'm not happy with it. I'm not happy about how it makes me feel and all of the uncertainty surrounding it. It's my hobby and my secret lovechild. I may as well leave it like that and enjoy it for as long as I can. That said, I'm going to pursue the double major in Psychology and French. That should give me a few really good options after I graduate from college. I'm still planning on getting my masters in Linguistics. It'll be a hard few years, but I know that I can get it done. I just need to work really hard so that my GPA can be raised. Then, I'll be well on my way to a great graduate school and a fellowship (hopefully). You never know what could happen.

All I know is: I have to try way harder this semester because I've let myself down for long enough. I've been on the procrastination train since high school, and I'm ready to get off and end the corner-cutting.

I think that anyone should be able to adopt chiden as long as they are deemed suitable to raise the child properly. I think that society has become too focused on very small details that do not matter in the long run. Adoption is the solution to homeless children and abandoned children. It's the chance for a child who a not known any better to receive the care they desperatly need. I think the very first thought we should keep in mind is of the children. There is no reason to withhold the responsibilities of raising child from same sex couples. It would be like telling a family of one race that they cannot raise a child versus family of a "superior" race. Just some things to keep in mind.
   

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A perfect day would be sitting outside next to a lake with a great book I'm about to finish. It's breathing the fresh, mountain air and basking in the golden sunlight of the afternoon. It is the gentle breeze that cools me off when I feel a little hot, the occasional mosquito bite that drives me nuts. A perfect day is being able to look across the path at the person I love, knowing he'll never leave me, and I'll never be alone. That's my perfect day.

What's yours?

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Today is the day of our nation's birth. It is the day we (or at least a smll majority of us) were given the right to practice our own faiths and live the lives we wanted to live. It's a monumental day that reminds us that anything is possible, that we can go againany force in the world, large or small, and overcome any injustice done to us. This applies to so many areas of our lives: school, work, etc. It's a powerful message that we should all reflect on this eening as we watch the specials on national television, sit back with out bottles of beer, wave our flags, sing our patriotic songs, and watch the fireworks as they light up the sky.

The most amazing reminder of this historical date in our country's history is the fireworks. They are a present-day reminder of the many days and months that the colonists fought to preserve the rights ty felt were ebign dismissed byt he British government. The vividly speckled colors and auras that fly across the sky, forming a variety of geometric wonders, are the symbolic representation of canons firing and skylines peaked in fire from pillaging and destruction. It was a dark past that evolved into our current state.

I'm not one to get overly political, and I won't now. It's just a very interesting holiday, one to be both thankful for and thoughtful of.

In other news, I've been working on this Independence Day. I started a shift at 3pm and will soon head home and spend the remainder of it avec ma chere amie, Geneva. The higlight of my evening, aside from no laundry to wash/fold, sweeping and mopping, and getting over an allergic reaction to a new facial cleanser, has been a hand drawing done by a youngboy in room 204 (below).

God really is watching to provide us with a pick-me-up when we really need it. Hope really is around every corner and inside all of our hearts.

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I actually spent my night in the ER for my reaction. Not fun... Basically, I sat around the waiting room for two hours reading a book. I'm now halfway through the book (which I started yesterday at work), and I still have a giant rash on my face. Doctor's advice: stop using that product and take benedryl. It knocked me out, and I slept until I had to leave for work. Awesome.

I believe that they call them "light" cigarettes because it gives the user an image of what they're smoking that is pleasing. If they advertised any cigarette as a smoggy experience you'll share with everyone around you, I'm not sure they'd still be in business. Adding the word "light" to anything makes most consumers cling to that brand or product because it sounds and look healthier. To me, it's a purely pathological device to boost sails by making people believe that what they are putting into their bodies is less harmful that the regular version of whatever it is. Another popular item of choice for the average American that is related to this issue is soda. Most of the pop sold in the U.S. comes in the original flavor and in a diet version. It's the same issue. Both are equally harmful in different ways, but the "diet" gives the illusion that it is healthier and can be consumed more often because it won't cause as many health issues. It's all a language thing.

People get paid to make things look good for us to consume or use. If they weren't so good, they wouldn't be employed. They really know what we want, so we have to make sure we're not giving them all of the power to make choices for us.

   

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Moving on is the hardest step to take. I keep reminiscing about things that I can't control and can't change. I can't erase the words I wrote or mute my words. I can't pretend that I'm not finding ways to cope and move on, even though I'm trying so hard to keep holding on to everything I hold so deep in my heart. The biggest part of breaking up with someone is learning how to get back into the love game again. It's easy to figure out who you like and who you don't. It's also a breeze to find the people you're definitely attracted to and would like to pursue. That's the hitcher, though: the pursuit. It takes some real guts to drop the not-so-subtle hints to a special someone. I know what you're thinking: "Why are you going to just tell the boy you like him and get over it?" Well, it's just not that easy.

As much as just taking the leap of faith would make me feel so much better, I'm not ready yet. It's something you just know how to do when you find yourself in a situation that helps you through it. My event was meatloaf. Meatloaf.

Although he didn't really get the hint, I learned a few things out for myself. That's all that matters, right? Besides, the chase is the fun part, even when it hurts. The reward is so much better that way, too. I suppose one has to keep in mind that the reward may never come, and that's fine with me, too. I'm just actively pursuing the love in my life without letting my heart become too committed again. It may be a safeguard, but it's the best way for me to go to be at night without wondering if so-and-so is okay, if he thinks about me, if he'll ever want me back again... For that matter, I wonder what I would say if he showed up on my doorstep right now.

For one, I would be flabbergasted. It is 1:51 AM. Plus, it never seemed liked I was worth the trouble, the time, or the money. I don't really know, though, I suppose. Most of what I know if just what I speculate because everything seemed so one-sided. He probably feels the same way. I can't say that I'm not at fault, either. It just hurts knowing that I may have, and probably did, do something wrong, and I'll never know because he won't talk to me. He doesn't talk to me. No matter how hard I try, it seems like that one phone conversation in tears left us farther apart than we ever were.

Again, it's the distance that hurts. It's knowing that I could probably arrange some sort of meeting or a walk or coffee or something to make my mind finally rest. I've always been one to apologize, even when I know I didn't do anything wrong. I always gets so worried and upset and anxious when I know perfectly well that I probably shouldn't feel like that at all. I wake up every morning feeling like I'm going to mess my life up, and I go to bed calculating my paychecks and hours of sleep. I wonder if the sink is going to be full of dishes when I get home or if my roommates are fighting with each other in their reclusive manners. I dream up all of these dramatic moments and play them again and again to amuse and disgust myself, maybe even just to hurt myself for something I'm almost positive I've done wrong.

It's insecurity.

All I can do is work through the things I know are right and try to repair the things I know are broken. All of the uncertainties have to take a back-seat to my mental health and physical well-being. I can't keep eating one and a half meals a day or sleeping for 6 hours a night. I need to work out more and eat more regularly and stop worrying so much about what others think. I can only be myself as I am and live my life as I know I'm fit to. It's my box, and I don't have to go outside of it unless I really want to. I think that it's definitely time to take that step, but for some reason, I'm finding the expanding walls collapse around me, leaving me in a smaller space than I originally had.

Lately, I've been considering the meaning of the word distance. It hurts me. I never thought I would hurt so much from the distance between me and... love. I can handle the miles for the most part but not when I'm hurting this badly. There are so many questions, and yet... I have to set down an unfinished book. I've made it to the end of the second installment, only to find that there won't be a final chapter, at least a final chapter that I'm sure will exist. It's hard leaving anything behind, being left behind. It's the same feeling you get when you graduate high school. I remember recessing from graduation and picking up my diploma, thinking that this experience never lasted long enough. I still can't believe how fast life is moving now that I'm an "adult." It's scary. It's wonderful and scary all at the same time. I've been doused in this magical elixir that makes me responsible for rent and credit card payments, a job and my own personal health. I've been entrusted with the bed-making and laundry-doing. I've been given full run of the television remote and my car stereo. I can control my own bed time and stay out as late as I want. The only thing I can say about all of this is that it just happened one day without me even realizing it. I'm adjusting pretty well, I'd say. It's still hard getting up so early for work, but I'm doing it the very best that I can. I'm making the money and paying the bills. I'm buying groceries and fixing dinners and mediating domestic disputes and donning my peace-keeping cap daily. In a way, the distance has helped me adjust. When my parents are around, all I can think about it what I'd really like to do and then going to do it. When I'm in my own house, I only think about working, sleeping, eating, and paying bills. The transition from child to adult is instantaneous. I think I've always had the maturity needed to grow up correctly. I was mostly worried about being able to handle it emotionally. I think I'm fine. I'm a worrier, so I think about the worst possible scenarios and how I would deal with them. I sometimes indulge myself in the wonderful possibilites that may occur in my life: meeting that special someone, going on dates, getting married, meeting my first child. I thought about these things before, but the distance has given me time to think about other possibilites, more serious options. My heart warms at the thought that one day I'm going to be just fine: everything will be just fine. It's what I'm living for. It's what I'm hoping for and dreaming about. The distance is hurting me more and more each day, but soon, I know that the distance will disappear. I'll be healed in a sea of forgiveness and be able to look outside at the moon and pray for the cures for the world's problems instead of another good day. Every day will be good if I just keep my faith.

I have officially entered the Vista generation with my new Dell Inspiron 530s. It's a fantastic machine that has everything I could ever want on a computer. I have a little TV tuner-action going on, a little bit of graphics card heaven, and some amazing 3GB of stuff going on. It's amaze'! I'm really happy. I've installed everything I needed to on it, so I'm good to go. Julie is using my old laptop for a bit because her ancient brick of a laptop is almost dead. It only stays on for like fifteen minutes before it dies. It's sad. Anyway, I'm going to play some games, read some comics, and do some laundry.

The hotel is amazing. I'm having a lot of fun (and earning a lot of money). It's been fun times. I manage to hang up on some people inevitably. It's sad. I hate that so much! Sometimes, I think they just hang up on me for the fun of it. I hate that. lol... We're going to get trained in on the new phone system very soon, so I'll have some really good practice in before that happens. I'm pretty confident about my phone-answering abilities, but you never know... I could be the worst phone-answerer in the WORLD! Maybe...

The bookstore is awesome. I'm getting closer and closer to cute-boy. He'd never ever date me (and probably doesn't even find me attractive), but he's a pleasant distraction in my less than desirable love life right now.

In other news, some people have really been getting it on. Your five-day forecast shows pain, misery, and a lot of bitching. Don't say I didn't tell you so.